Elisa Albert

oh freedom.  i want you when you're not around but when you're around i want to hide.  
you with your choices and your wild wide open horizon: 
i can't think with all your endless space and acceptance.
judge me!  assail my choices!  i beg you: force me into a corner, any corner, so long as i am cramped and unable to move.  
stillness, that's the stuff.  peace and quiet, please.  i want to curl up in the darkness of your absence, left alone to suffer stiffly whatever it is i am told to suffer.
i'm tired.  we're already cursed, don't you know?  it's too late, has always been too late, will always be too late.  
so go.  or stay, so i can rail against you.  or go, and i can be glad you're gone.  or stay.  i don't care.  unless i do.  wait, maybe i do.  is it too late?  you decide.  
you decide. you decide.  i can't decide for you.  you decide for me.  i'm free!  unless you say i'm not.  does it matter? 
i'm free, aren't i, to wonder. 
 

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